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This one not so funny but one to make Billyboy homesick.
A Brighton-Eastbourne again, 12 road. Just approaching the bus lay-by past the Kemp Town Brewery at Denton Island Newhaven, I see a car stopped ahead and behind the car, between the kerb and the Keep Left bollards, just outside the bus lay-by, A bundle of clothing , in the road. Oh jeez. here we go again.
I drive into the lay-by and dismount, having Done first aid courses and medical room relief at the gasworks, I was not unused to that feeling at encountering an accident, It is the 'fight or flee moment', you know that as a trained person, you now, not only must help this person, but recognise that, you are taking responsibility for another persons Immediate Safety, comfort, recovery prospects and sometimes, posiibly their life. Do I do it, or turn away?. Fortunately I somehow always found the strength to bite the bit.
The victim was an elderly Lady, with immediately apparent fracture of the neck of the femur, (leg foreshortened foot, knee etc. fallen outward), so, people are now around and no such thing as a mobile phone, sent two people to phone for police and ambulace making sure they knew the location, set another to divert the traffic and moved in asking for a first aid kit from anyone.
Well to be brief, there were superficial injuries to add to the broken femur and at least one break in the other lower leg, so, the legs were best left to the experts, too much risk of extra nerve and tissue damage and profuse bleeding into the thigh area, carried out usual all over checks including, responses and vital signs, evidence of fluids from ears nose etc, any drug intolerances, any current medication or illnesses, next of kin to advise etc., treat, superficials and reassure, whilst a kind passenger wrote all the information down for me to give the ambulance crew, in case the vicim became unconscious before they arrived.
Well they duly arrived, it took about fifteen minutes, why?, I know not.
I briefed them, gave them the notes and returned to the bus.
The broody Conductor, was spitting bile, "why don't you mind your own broody business", " Your broody job is driving this bus, I am responsible for time keeping and passengers", blimey, how many times have you heard that one Billyboy?. Ok, so when we get back to Poole Valley he is going to report me for making the bus twenty minutes late etc. etc. etc.
This was one of the occasions when the passengers better sides came out, they gave him hell, " Could have been your Mother", etc. etc. etc. And of course the news reached Pool Valley, before we got to Eastbourne on the outward leg.
Yes there were some Conductors who rated themselves up there with Andre Previn, or even Sir Malcolm Sargeant.
'Just another day on the buses'
Energumen
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